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Chief of Staff Candidates

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Classified Jokes.

Chief of Staff Candidate

This is a joke during the martial law years, which was carried on during the Cory Administration. Not intended to hurt anyone but this was indeed a laugh towards then President Ramos.

Not intended to hurt the Ver Family, nor the Marcos Family, Ramos Family and Ocampo Family.

I got this joke from going out with my father, this joke well one of several that will come later, is what I got from listening to the officers of the Armed Forces back in the 1980s, who meet after office hours, drinking their coffee after meals at night. If you do not understand what I mean, then you are not part of the club. Just read on because this joke is for everybody.

Of the military officers who knew of the story, sorry sirs, I had to spice this one a bit, this may not be the one that you heard exactly, around the round  brown babies tables at night.

This joke was set on the Marcos regime, maybe during the late 1970s or early 1980s. How it ends and how you percieve it, like in the Armed Services, they say what you see, what you hear, leave it here, keep it here. So shut up and laugh already.

Malacañang

Three generals are lined up for an interview with President Marcos. The Generals are; General Ocampo, General Ramos, General Ver, respectively. The first to be called is General Ocampo.

General Ocampo

General Ocampo tried to be snappy, didn’t want to be bothered by some kiss up aide de camp who was supposed to open the door for him, dismissed the aide.

General Ocampo knocks at the door twice, a typical practice of the military, rather a practice in fact a standard operating procedure, and part of the MCD, to the uninitiated it means Military Courtesy and Discipline.

President Marcos, all too familiar with the procedure and practice, since he was a military man himself. Responds.

Pres. Marcos: Come in.

General Ocampo opens the door, comes in and closes the door behind him. He moves forward to somewhere it has always been a practice within the armed services where and when to salute a commanding officer.

Now a few yards away, he stands at attention and salutes a snappy one.

Gen. Ocampo: General Ocampo, reporting as ordered sir.

President Marcos gave him the standard courtesy salutes back.

Pres. Marcos: Oh, General, take a seat.

Gen. Ocampo: Thank you sir!

Naturally he took the one prepared right in front of him; this was an interview after all.

Pres. Marcos: General 5 + 5.

Gen. Ocampo, suddenly feels some butterflies in his stomach. His mind is wandering.

What the hell is asking, why ask me such a stupid question where does he want me to answer. Everyone knows it’s ten, but did I hear it right?

Gen. Ocampo: A what?, oh, sorry sir… what was the question again?

Pres. Marcos repeats his question slowly.

Pres. Marcos: General… it is, five, plus, five.

Gen. Ocampo’s mind finds this question quite boggling.

I’m a freaking general, and asks me a stupid question, what does he want. Here goes.

Gen. Ocampo: Ah sir, it depends on what you mean by it, because as far as I can remember it has always been 10. Yes sir 5 + 5 = 10.

Gen. Ocampo, feels confident with his answer.

Pres. Marcos: Ok general, that will be all.

Gen. Ocampo, he stands up salutes, and leaves quietly.

President’s Notes:

Very slow, but he can answer. Why is he a general in the first place? Intelligence is in question.

General Ramos

General Ramos knocks open the door and peers his head into the president’s office. Then he enters the room smiling, and walks gayfully. 

Gen. Ramos: Hey cousin. (He salutes his cousin like he would salute back a subordinate).

Pres. Marcos: Oh, General. It is you. Have a seat.

Gen. Ramos: Thanks.

President Marcos is trying to be professional all the way, and feels a little awkward about nepotism.

Pres. Marcos: General 5+5.

Gen. Ramos: Aw! Come on cuz, really, everyone knows that it’s 10. 5+5=10. It is a trick question. I can see that through and through.

Gen. Ramos smiles and moves his eyebrows up and down, then he lights up his big tobacco cigar. President Marcos finds it amusing he laughs with a sarcastic one, but Gen. Ramos laughs at the thought that he caught his cousin throwing a trick on him and thought that this was all a joke. They are now laughing.

They talked for a while talking pleasantries on how their aunt and uncles are. Then President Marcos dismissed him to call on the next candidate.

Gen. Ramos gets up from his chair and steps back and salutes, well snappier but still like he salutes back at a subordinate.

President’s Notes:

Very intelligent and perceptive, highly intelligent, very bright, very honest, very legalist. Loyalty ?(president marcos wrote the question mark, meaning he questions his loyalty)

Gen. Ver

General Ver, like General Ocampo, knocks on the door twice, opens the door, and closes it behind him, moves forward stops and snapped his heels giving it a sound stands at attention salutes so snappy, you can say he was a cadet in the Military Academy.

President Marcos obliges the standard practices and or the military pleasantries.

Pres. Marcos: Take a seat General.

Gen. Ver: Thank you sir.

General Ver obliges and sits down at the provided chair.

Pres. Marcos, unwary of the previous candidates, asks the same question again. 

Pres. Marcos: Okay General, 5+5.

Gen. Ver: That is easy sir, you can have 7 and I’ll settle for 3.

Pres. Marcos: Okay General that will be all you are dismissed.

Gen. Ver gets up and does the snappy military thing again and leaves.

President’s Notes:

Very quick. Very Loyal!

I posted a similar joke on facebook a few years ago this is a rehash of it.